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Happy Friday my fellow funky Friday folks. It’s been a wild week. This week is like Hemmer’s hot-tub parties. It’s not okay that bad things happen, because it’s all part of this collective.
First and last evening’s town hall . We got what did Joe give us? A chaotic jumbled of memories and confused looks but an incredible impersonation of Beavis’ Cornholio by Butthead. Was that really what you were talking about? There was more
Joe Biden, Oct 21: forty percent of all products coming into the United States of America on the west coast go through Los Angeles and, and I, what am I doing here?
Anderson Cooper: is it Long Beach?
Biden: Long Beach. Thank you
Anderson Cooper: Do you have plans to visit the southern border?
Joe Biden: I’ve been there before and I haven’t. It’s a well-known fact. It seems that I ought to go lower.
Joe Biden: So what you see is wages are actually up
Joe Biden: I have the freedom to kill you
Joe Biden: My guess is you’ll start to see gas prices come down as we get by going into the winter. I mean, excuse me, in the next year, 2022.
Joe Biden: I must tell you, I don’t have a near-term answer.
Anderson Cooper: Mr. President. President
President Joe Biden: By the way, there’s two famous guys in this audience here.
Maybe they were Beavis and Butthead. That’s not comforting. His only strategy seems to be to distract from the misery and promise more. That and stories about trains.
Joe Biden: A lot of the folks at Amtrak became my family, not a joke. // Angelo Negre came from where do you recall Ang? Ang approached me when I was in my 20s, after they had just announced I had flown one hundred thousand miles with air force aircraft. I am getting into the car when Ang approaches me and he says, joey baby, what are you doing? He thought the secret services were going to kill him. He’s fine, I told him. He is good. True story.
Rambling about trains from a human train wreck. Sorry – the only Biden who knows about rails is Hunter after he’s snorted a few fresh ones.
So as America worries – Joe tells a debunked story about a dead Amtrak worker. The man’s memory is so poor that he has started to copy other people’s lies. We covered the supply chain scandal last week. It’s worse
Empty shelves, just like the president’s memory. Escalating prices. Panic. Kat can’t even buy hair. Nothing has changed. Why is that? It doesn’t impact the politicians, rich or activist classes. These are the very people responsible for all this. It doesn’t affect you, you country bumpkins.
I mean, when was the last time that you wore designer clothes to gala events? It was Thursday for me. But I digress.
Sure, they dragged Buttigieg out of his fort made of marshmallows and kittens to make a statement, but he offered nothing but, “sorry you’re stuck with it.” Although he’s smart, he is not a leader. He is Eddie Haskell in “Leave it to Beaver,” but he does not like beav.
Now I got nothing against paternity leave. It was Mayor Pete who gave paternity leaves a poor name. What about taking a break for a few months. He’s definitely not Octomom. He did not have eight children by C-section. He was offered a comfortable federal job with perks, and then he ended up bailing out for the next two months while the country sinks. What do you think your real identity is? Kamala Harris?
It’s true, I was the only one who didn’t leave college my first year. That was when it became clear that it was Holiday Inn Express.
The truth is that no one has the final say. No one is in charge.
Biden is a big rickety Trojan horse being dragged into your living room by Jen Psaki, Susan Rice, and Ron Klain but there are no warriors inside just dust. This presidency is the headless horseman to put us into Halloween mode. This is not just a costume; it’s a real thing. The decorations are made from the inside of Biden’s skull.
You know how it is impossible to tell who’s boss. Are those famous executive orders Biden issued when he got in? You may recall how it was supposed to prove that he was in control, but was really symbolic bull . Take the border crisis. He wanted to reverse Trump-era policies, make the new one fail and then act as if he had saved us from the catastrophe he unnecessarily created.
Now – with this massive crisis, nothing. He would do anything. He won’t. Trump would have nuked this supply chain crisis as if it were a hurricane, and he won’t. He did the same thing with North Korea. Abraham agreements were the key to the Middle East. The vaccines.
He’d have targeted the problems and bombed them on his way to the airport.
With the supply chain. In a trucker’s hat, he would have created warp speed. Just with his Hell’s Angels connections alone, the shelves would already be teeming with Christmas toys.
His tweets can sometimes be abrasive. Let’s try to replace him with Thurston Howell III and Gilligan. Biden regrets it. This problem was solved by no one. Kamala, Joe, Pete all have no responsibility for solving this problem. Too busy trying to avoid the immigrant crisis. She doesn’t make migrants run to the border as she does.
Meanwhile, we found out that this clown show Merrick Garland had breezily targeted domestic terrorists – i.e. Based on an uncorroborated letter sent by a left-wing organization that was involved in the conspiracy with the government, parents. It was all fake. After 2 Fireball shots, this guy is dirtier than Dana Perino.
He also claims that he gets his information mainly from the news. This could be referring to CNN. This explains why he is so empty-headed. He didn’t know about the attack on the Department of the Interior or the rape in Loudoun County. CNN reports only news that is favorable to a coddled audience of people with low IQs.
The media quotes politicians, while the media quotes politicians. They go round and around. Jeffrey Toobin shouldn’t get too excited, so I won’t be using the crude expression.
Merrick is another headless horseman, just like Joe or Mayor Pete. There are no ideas. He was just strutting his stuff, leaving piles of horse crap behind for the peasants. He now kicked a nest of hornets with his naked feet.
Do you think Black Lives Matter was an organization? Try millions of scorned parents, from all economic groups, with more racial diversity than a 1980’s Benetton ad. Garland kicked out the mama bear and the bear’s temperament is that of Bernie Sanders.
Now parents may be disadvantaged as activists – they’re new at it, and also they’re too busy to occupy a park, block a highway. You can also poop on the sidewalk. These people have real jobs. They also have children. They are the ones I loathe. But I get it.
When parents get in the way of their kids, it starts a war that will end much quicker than any Joe Biden day. You should be afraid of the headless horseman. He said he would unify the country. He did. He was defeated.
This article is adapted from Greg Gutfeld’s opening monologue on the October 22, 2021 edition of “Gutfeld! “